I come from a family of muscle clenching, bad backs, and inflammation issues so we can easily detect at family functions who isn't feeling 100% (easy indicators include ice packs, heat packs, ibprofen bottles within a foot of them). So I know when my body is off and I know the route I take to wellness.
Being a woman, I also know what emotional imbalance feels like. One minute you're going to a coffee shop to get some God time and when your debit card malfunctions the barista offers you her shift coffee and pretty soon you're crying in the back of Cafe Ladro. Why? Your emotions are resting on the surface so surface things all of the sudden have full access to your wide range of emotions. I have somewhat grown to understand and recognize when my emotions are off.
Yes, this month my body has felt off, and yes my emotions have been backfiring and shooting off everywhere, but where I have felt most imbalanced is in my soul.
The youth group God has given to my care has been going through the book of Colossians since September and we have been ringing this book dry for all of it's information and Holy Spirit-filled messages.
I don't know if you've ever felt off through and through, like you just can't come up with a proper self-diagnosis but you just don't feel like, well, you. Here's what I've found.
Colossians 3 is the heart of what god through Paul is trying to say to the church at Colosse.
"1Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. 2Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. 3For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. 4And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory" (Colossians 3:1-4 NLT).
In the last two days I have been listening to Judah Smith's sermon series on the soul (I don't listen to podcasts all that often but what I was doing wasn't working so I thought to try something new). God through Judah has been speaking to exactly where I am at in my spiritual imbalance.
Something Judah said in his sermon "A Quiet Soul" was that a quiet soul comes from giving God the control.
I'm not a big video gamer so I'm hardly ever good (just being honest!) and when I try to play, I often get stuck on a level and when I'm frustrated and am about to give up, I hand off the controllers to someone more experienced who takes over.
I have not been giving God the controllers. Judah said society tells us that we can do anything, be anything if we just try harder, work harder, but God says you will find peace and rest when you're living out of who I called you to be.
That's what Paul is saying in Colossians 3 verse 3, "Your real life is hidden with God."
Yielding control to God means receiving peace and rest, every time. It's admitting that we are not God in our own lives. We are not the gods of our schedules, God is the God of our schedules. We are not the gods of our future, God is the God of our future.
Where I have felt imbalanced is where I have been trying harder, working longer hours, struggling all the more to create balance in my life. God sees me drowning and refusing to call out and gosh darn it even though I insist I can do it on my own, I can't, and He scoops me out of my frutrations, struggles and pressures.
It's when I let God in that I feel most whole. When I am the nearest to Him is when I admit just how much I need Him.
This is the last thing I'll say so bear with me.
I think I've mentioned this in past posts but I'm a visual person, so when I long to be with God I close my eyes and I can picture myself and God in a meadow. (P.S. I felt like I found my meadow while vacationing in Edinburgh, Scotland at the bottom of Arthur's seat, pictures below.)
This is how it goes every time.
I close my eyes and there's a red fenced gate with the door already open. I walk through the gate through tall, lush green grass and not far from where I start my trek God is waiting there. Like a father, He stands up to greet me and to hold me close in an embrace.
We sit on a soft blanket in the grass and all it takes is God smiling at me in that caring, paternal way and asking how I am that I break down. I realize how hard I have been trying to do right, to be the best I can be, but without calling on God for resources and guidance I always come back to our meadow feeling heavy-laden and needing rest.
That's where I find myself today. I was designed to be close to my Father, to call on Him for help like I call on my earthly father when my car breaks down, and oh how I need my Heavenly Father when my life is what's breaking down.
I feel off when I am not seeking out my Father, recognizing who He is and who He has called me to be.
My real life is hidden with Christ, so instead of running around earth, unrooted like a sheep without a shepherd, I will wait and rest and find peace by giving God control over my life. I would rather be in my meadow with God than anywhere else, so that's where I'm going to be.
God bless.
