Life, Interrupted

“But when it pleased God…” –Galatians 1:15

If you are like me, you hate to be interrupted. Whether it’s while you are speaking, or when you have your entire day mapped out before you and something unexpected happens. You like to always know what's coming.

It’s comfortable, it’s safe.

But God wants us to live interruptable lives.

How many times have you allowed God to “interrupt” your life and your plans? We have to learn to give God room to move. Constantly, we make plans for our day, saying this and that will happen, assuming that we can control when God will fall into our lives. But we forget that God comes and goes as He chooses. What if we were having a meeting, and all of the sudden He wanted to move? Or if we were hanging out with friends, and surprise! He wants you to pray for someone.

Can you imagine how Noah felt when God wanted him to build an ark? Imagine how he seemed to his friends and family. But when he was floating safely over the water, with his family safe and everyone else dying around him, can you imagine his relief? He listened to God, and God did not disappoint.

                          

He doesn't always come in the same way, but He does come. Look for Him. That’s how you make room for Him. Always keep your eyes alert for Him, but never expect Him to come when you expect Him to.

“However much we may know God, the great lesson to learn is that at any minute He may break in.” –Oswald Chambers

I think we always forget that God is His own “person.” He decides when He wants to arrive. “When it pleases God,” He shows up. It has nothing to do with our plans.

Are we humble enough to allow God to mess up our plans?

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” –Proverbs 19:21

Always expect God to show up, and when he does, listen to what He says. Something amazing will happen. His plans are better, much better, than ours!

Prayer:

Lord, interrupt me. Do it all the time. Don’t let me become destroyed by my own plans, because I know they will fail me. You know what is best for me, and what is best for your children. If you need me, use me. If you want me to suddenly stop driving and start worshipping or praying, let me know. Change my heart, Lord, I am prideful and childish when it comes to my plans being interrupted. So, Lord, change me and mold me into the interruptable person that you want me to be.

What are you looking at?

"Eyes on me... Eyes on me."

Have you noticed how hard it is to pursue God when you're having a good season? The greatest spiritual difficulty is to focus on God, and to depend on Him, even when we don't feel we need a savior. Difficulties make it almost impossible not to look at God, and His blessings will, a lot of the time, take our focus off of Him. Take the message of the Sermon on the Mount: we need to start whittling down all of our interests and passions until our mind, heart, and body are completely and totally focused on Jesus Christ. Until we are “looking unto Him.”

Sometimes, we find ourselves focusing on the lives of the “saints,” AKA those "goody two-shoes” people of this world, and find our focus has completely shifted from the One who matters most. Focusing on saints, or even trying to become like a saint, will not bring about our salvation. When we look at God, it’s not that we WILL be saved, as if it hasn't occurred yet… when we look at Him, we ARE saved. If our focus is right, we will find what we are looking for. Our problems, our bad attitudes, our depression will cease when we look unto Him.

Do you believe it?

No matter what trial you are going through, look to Him, build your hope on Him.

“’Look unto Me,’ and salvation is, the moment you look.” –Oswald Chambers

 

Nat's Reflection:

It seems that whenever I have an issue, I look everywhere BESIDES to Him for the answer. I read books, I eat food, I lounge on the couch watching a movie, when all I need to do is look to Him. I worry so much about the future of my child, and my children, and if I will be a good parent, and the entire time I forget that I just need to look at Him, and I am saved. He will save me from being a bad parent. No, He already has saved me from being a bad parent. I will be a good, not perfect, mother for my children because I look unto Him. He has saved me.

Feeling Spiritually Off

For the whole month of November I have just felt off. Do you know that feeling? 

I come from a family of muscle clenching, bad backs, and inflammation issues so we can easily detect at family functions who isn't feeling 100% (easy indicators include ice packs, heat packs, ibprofen bottles within a foot of them). So I know when my body is off and I know the route I take to wellness. 

Being a woman, I also know what emotional imbalance feels like. One minute you're going to a coffee shop to get some God time and when your debit card malfunctions the barista offers you her shift coffee and pretty soon you're crying in the back of Cafe Ladro. Why? Your emotions are resting on the surface so surface things all of the sudden have full access to your wide range of emotions. I have somewhat grown to understand and recognize when my emotions are off.

Yes, this month my body has felt off, and yes my emotions have been backfiring and shooting off everywhere, but where I have felt most imbalanced is in my soul. 

The youth group God has given to my care has been going through the book of Colossians since September and we have been ringing this book dry for all of it's information and Holy Spirit-filled messages. 

I don't know if you've ever felt off through and through, like you just can't come up with a proper self-diagnosis but you just don't feel like, well, you. Here's what I've found. 

Colossians 3 is the heart of what god through Paul is trying to say to the church at Colosse.

"1Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. 2Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. 3For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. 4And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory" (Colossians 3:1-4 NLT).

In the last two days I have been listening to Judah Smith's sermon series on the soul (I don't listen to podcasts all that often but what I was doing wasn't working so I thought to try something new). God through Judah has been speaking to exactly where I am at in my spiritual imbalance. 

Something Judah said in his sermon "A Quiet Soul" was that a quiet soul comes from giving God the control. 

I'm not a big video gamer so I'm hardly ever good (just being honest!) and when I try to play, I often get stuck on a level and when I'm frustrated and am about to give up, I hand off the controllers to someone more experienced who takes over. 

I have not been giving God the controllers. Judah said society tells us that we can do anything, be anything if we just try harder, work harder, but God says you will find peace and rest when you're living out of who I called you to be.

That's what Paul is saying in Colossians 3 verse 3, "Your real life is hidden with God." 

Yielding control to God means receiving peace and rest, every time. It's admitting that we are not God in our own lives. We are not the gods of our schedules, God is the God of our schedules. We are not the gods of our future, God is the God of our future. 

Where I have felt imbalanced is where I have been trying harder, working longer hours, struggling all the more to create balance in my life. God sees me drowning and refusing to call out and gosh darn it even though I insist I can do it on my own, I can't, and He scoops me out of my frutrations, struggles and pressures. 

It's when I let God in that I feel most whole. When I am the nearest to Him is when I admit just how much I need Him. 

This is the last thing I'll say so bear with me. 

I think I've mentioned this in past posts but I'm a visual person, so when I long to be with God I close my eyes and I can picture myself and God in a meadow. (P.S. I felt like I found my meadow while vacationing in Edinburgh, Scotland at the bottom of Arthur's seat, pictures below.)

This is how it goes every time. 

I close my eyes and there's a red fenced gate with the door already open. I walk through the gate through tall, lush green grass and not far from where I start my trek God is waiting there. Like a father, He stands up to greet me and to hold me close in an embrace. 

We sit on a soft blanket in the grass and all it takes is God smiling at me in that caring, paternal way and asking how I am that I break down. I realize how hard I have been trying to do right, to be the best I can be, but without calling on God for resources and guidance I always come back to our meadow feeling heavy-laden and needing rest. 

That's where I find myself today. I was designed to be close to my Father, to call on Him for help like I call on my earthly father when my car breaks down, and oh how I need my Heavenly Father when my life is what's breaking down. 

I feel off when I am not seeking out my Father, recognizing who He is and who He has called me to be. 

My real life is hidden with Christ, so instead of running around earth, unrooted like a sheep without a shepherd, I will wait and rest and find peace by giving God control over my life. I would rather be in my meadow with God than anywhere else, so that's where I'm going to be. 

God bless. 

His Love

The youth group that God has blessed into my hands, Ignition, has been going through Jesus Is: A Participant's Guide together weekly, where Judah Smith who pastors City Church, topically brings us back to the basics of our faith in Jesus Christ.

This week's topic is called "Count the Ways", where Judah is asking us in our daily devo section to recall and record God's love toward us.

In the devotional for day 1, Judah starts by asking us if we as humans can comprehend of all God's love towards us, and then he asks what analogy (comparison) we use to best describe God's love towards us.

I sat and stared at my journal.  Due to my self-competitive nature, I typically go through my devotionals pretty fast, so I was thrown off by the need to ponder on that question.

So I shut my journal, got ready for work, and have rolled that question around in my mind like a river tosses around stones.

What human comparison could I give to describe God's love?

In between my classes on Mondays, I rest at Dubsea Coffee, so I trekked my normal route and stood surveying the goods with which to indulge myself.

On long days, like this one was turning out to be, I tended to treat myself beyond my drip coffee with either a latte or an almond croissant. Today I desperately wanted both, but as it is with a budget, I didn't want to break my daily allowance.

As I placed my order for an iced vanilla latte, out of the corner of my eye I saw an almond croissant wrapped in plastic wrap, labeled for a third of the price, since it was from yesterday's batch.

That's when I realized my best comparison for God's love towards me.

God's love for me is so great that He cares to see into my smallest desires, like discounting my favorite baked good so I can enjoy it in the midst of a trying morning.

Even as I ordered my croissant and thanked God in my head for His great love towards me, the barista told me that he's never seen a day-old almond croissant last that long in the day without being snatched up.

I know, that's God for you. He cares about my biggest life-altering hurtles and about my smallest wishes and hopes, that's the love of my Savior and that's only one human comparison to compare His love to.

Psalm 18:28-30
"28 You light a lamp for me.
The Lord, my God, lights up my darkenss.
29 In your strength I can crush an army;
with my God I can scale any wall.
30 God's way is perfect.
All the Lord's promises prove true.
He is a shield for all who look to him for protection."

Our Needs, He Feeds

Last night I gathered with a handful of youth pastors and youth leaders to pray and cast vision into the Seattle-area Foursquare Summer Camp for 2014. We registered and talked logistics and laughed and worshiped together. Both firstly and lastly we prayed.

In the closing prayer, the director for junior high camp told us to pray for our needs and to proclaim them in God.

So if our needs are that we are currently weak and apathetic (low energy), then when we pray, "Thank You God for your strength, thank You for Your energy."

It was simple. And yet it stirred my faith in a new way.

Instead of complaining or praying myself into a pit of despair, my prayers did not focused on me and my humanity but on God and His infinity.

I cried out, "God You are strong, God You have the answers, God You are understanding, God You can turn all situations around for Your good, God You know what will be, God You have peace, God You are confident."

Wow. WOW! What if we spoke out our needs by proclaiming how God is and has all that we need?

So that was last night, today on my break between classes (it literally took my computer refusing to turn on for me to stop wedding planning and to open my dang Bible), I opened my Bible to the book of Psalm.

I began reading Psalm 28, a psalm of David.

"1 I pray to you, O Lord, my rock.
Do not turn a deaf ear to me.
For if you are silent,
I might as well give up and die.
2 Listen to my prayer for mercy
as I cry out to you for help,
as I lift my hands toward your holy sanctuary.

3 Do not drag me away with the wicked--
with those who do evil--
those who speak friendly words to their neighbors
while planning evil in their hearts.
4 Give them the punishment they so richly deserve!
Measure it out in proportion to their wickedness.
Pay them back for all their evil deeds!
Give them a taste of what they have done to others.
5 They care nothing for what the Lord has done
or for what his hands have made.
So he will tear them down,
and they will never be rebuilt!

6 Praise the Lord!
For he has heard my cry for mercy,
7 The Lord is my strength and shield.
I trust him with all my heart.
He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy.
I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.
8 The Lord gives his people strength.
He is a safe fortress for his anointed King.
9 Save your people!
Bless Israel, your special possession.
Lead them like a shepherd,
and carry them in your arms forever.

You'll notice I broke up this psalm into 3 different sections.

First, in blue, David is calling out to God in distress for God to come to his aid.

Second, in purple, David is listing injustices against him and against his people and he's calling on God for justice.

Third, in red, what is David doing? Thanking God? Why? Did God answer his prayers before he finished writing this psalm? No.

David began thanking God and he prayed for his needs by proclaiming how God would provide.

"For he has heard my cry for mercy", "The Lord is my strength and shield", "I trust him", "He helps me", "The Lord give his people strength", "He is a safe fortress".

Are you seeing what I'm seeing?

I could never figure out why David always brought his praises back to God in the midst of psalms that start out so dramatically "For if you are silent I might as well die".

Now I see. David was not only bringing the praise and focus back to God but he was proclaiming God's provision for all of his needs.

So how 'bout it? How about when we pray we pray for all the ways God can meet our needs? It's changing up the way I'm praying and thinking about my daily needs, it could change yours.

Be blessed today.

The Idol

Since when can a human being make themselves holy? Since when have we given ourselves that power? When we start to believe that humans hold their own salvation in their own hands, then we start to wonder if God is really who He says He is.

"All I do should be based on a perfect oneness with Him, not on a self-willed determination to be godly." -Oswald Chambers

It's good to have determination, but not if that determination overshadows the deep, holy desire to be one with God. Then, determination is an idol. Even if that determination is to be the holiest person that ever lived. 

I've been reading a book called "Atonement Child" by Francine Rivers and there's a character in it named Ethan. Ethan is so obsessed with the idea of being the holiest Christian that he can be that it is almost ridiculous how non-Christian his life is. He is so determined to be godly that he has forgotten the only way he could possibly get there-- through a unity with God, the Almighty. Only closeness and unity with God will truly make us holy.

We see it time and time again: pastors, friends, family so determined to be godly that it's almost embarrassing... And sometimes they are so obssessed with themselves that they can't see the needs of others. They can't see that the needs of others is that they need to see Christ's love through their lives.

And maybe this is you, because I know that it is me. So obssessed with my own salvation that I forget that I cannot be made holy until I have the Father's heart, until I am made one with Him, because that's the only way to be holy. Being with Him and being Him.

God does not want us to be self-willed. He wants us to be God-willed. He wants us to be totally, completely dependent on Him. In a way, He wants our faith in Him to be similar to a child's. 

"I am a human, but my daddy's the creator of the universe. And my dad's given me the authority to come against evil things, because my father lives inside of me."

It has nothing to do with us-- it has everything to do with Jesus. We should not strive for man's perception of holiness, we should strive to be one with Jesus.

I will draw near to Him, and He will draw near to me. He will make me holy and blameless, perfect, lacking in nothing.

"In everything he did he had great success, because The Lord was with him." -1 Samuel 18:14

"Humble yourselves to before the Lord, and He will lift you up." -James 4:10

"Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." -Ephesians 4:3

"'Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain on the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.'" -John 15:4 (Jesus speaking)

God-Willing

Two nights ago, I left for Bozeman Montana to go on a three day sabbatical with my Father. And until last night around 6PM, I had only made it to Billings, with a woman who was fighting to get home to her kids.

We met in Seatac. Forty minutes before the flight was supposed to leave, I peered up at the departure screen and the dreaded words greeted me: cancelled. I was at a loss. Moments before I had been trying to get the last seat on the plane, and praying fervently.

"Lord," I had prayed, "if it is not Your will that I go, make the journey impossible."

Dejected, I went over my options. The cancelled flight was the last flight of the day. And after asking a few agents, I discovered that the flights were booked to capacity every day until Wednesday. And I had planned my return trip for Thursday. In a moment of weakness, I sulked against the wall, staring around the terminal and trying not to cry.

I guess You don't want me to go, Lord. I'm sad, but You must have Your reasons.

Just as I was trying to figure out how to collect my checked bags, a customer service agent came up to me.

"Excuse me ma'am. Were you on that Bozeman flight?"

I looked at him, "yeah."

"If you want, I can get you to Billings?"

I smiled politely. "Thanks, but I'm a stand-by passenger."

The agent grinned, despite the chaos ensuing in the room. "If you want on, I'm getting you a seat. No problem."

I called Billings to see if they had cars available and meandered over to the Billings gate.

"Were you on that Bozeman flight?"

It wasn't the agent that asked, but a lady about thirty who was standing at the counter also.

"Yeah. I think I might fly to Billings and drive... Are you doing the same?"

"Yeah. They say I can't get out until Wednesday, and I have to get home to my kids."

"Want to split the cost for a rental car and drive over together?"

We both laughed and she said, "sure!"

Well, we ended up getting a hotel room in Billings (for free because she was a paying customer, and Alaska Air paid for it). Not only did we get a hotel room, but the hotel supervisor decided to give us the two bedroom suite because it was 1:30AM and it wasn't being used. He also gave us a breakfast voucher, and we didn't even ask for one.

"Just cuz I feel bad for you." He smiled and sent us on our way.

The next morning I waited in the living room of our suite for Carly to wake up. 

"Good news!" She said while walking out of her bedroom. "My friend's going to drive us halfway, and then my mom's going to pick us up from there and drive us to Bozeman."

I was shocked, expecting to shell out ninety bucks for a rental car that morning. "Wow. That's extremely nice of them."

We checked out, ate our breakfast, then jumped in the car with her friend. I was in the backseat with a very friendly nine-month-old black lab that loved to give kisses. Watching Billings disappear in the rear view mirror, I marveled at the adventure God was taking me on. 

When I thought it was impossible, He made it possible. He sent this woman to me, and through her showed me the endless love and grace He has for me. He cares for my desires, even my tiny desire to go on vacation. What a good God! He loves little, insignificant me, even in the grand scheme of things. 

I bid farewell to Carly, thanking her profusely. Without her, I didn't think I'd have the confidence, nor the funds, to make the trip happen. 

I did have a moment of weakness when my bag supposedly didn't make the Bozeman flight that afternoon. I had called ahead to make sure it would be on the first Bozeman flight of the day, so I could pick it up and make my way to the cabin. 

"Sorry, it must not have made it." The agent behind the counter said.

I fought back those unruly tears again. "That's weird, they said it'd be on this flight..." 

"It was an overbooked flight, the cargo pit might have been bulked out. Try the next flight, it comes in at 11:45 tonight."

I quietly said thank you around the throb in my throat, and climbed into the car outside. Letting the tears and the anger flow, I called Colin four times before he answered.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?!"

"I'm just mad! My bag didn't make the flight. I got close to zero sleep last night; I called Seattle and they said they'd get it on the plane. Now I can't start the drive up to the cabin until probably midnight tonight, and I wanted to go snowboarding tomorrow!"

Colin probably should have told me to stop whining and being selfish, but instead he empathized with me. "I'm so so sorry... I wish I knew how to make you feel better."

"It's whatever, I have to go, someone's trying to call me."

I pulled over on the side of the road to answer my phone. Someone had been texting and calling me repeatedly while I was fuming to Colin.

I peered at the first text and my jaw dropped.

"Hello Natalie Frazier, this is Zach at the Bozeman airport. We do indeed have your bag! You can pick it up if you are close!"

Hanging my head in shame, I drove back to the terminal where they were waiting with my bag. 

"The strangest thing happened! I could have sworn there were no more bags on the cart, but when I went back to check, there it was!"

I felt like kissing the woman I was so happy.

I called Colin when I got to my car. "Well, I feel like an entitled little baby. They found my bag. I can't believe it."

Colin laughed. "I do. I prayed just as soon as I got off the phone with you that they would have your bag. God performed a miracle for you, bibi."

"Do not worry about your life..." -Matthew 6:25

He says DON'T WORRY, and we say, "Okay, but I need to do this and that..."

But God says DON'T WORRY.

And beware of allowing yourself to believe that he says this while not understanding your circumstances. He understands better than anyone. And you know what? He cares about you! Yes, even you!